There are six things that are closely intertwined – success, leadership, gut instinct, harmony, peace of mind and forgiveness. Being successful in your personal and business life is a package deal with many facets – what you do in one area affects everything else . . . .
Forgiveness may seem a strange place to start when talking about success and leadership. Successful business leaders however talk about their intuitive gut instinct. Gut instinct however comes from harmony and peace of mind. Peace of mind however is not possible if you are overloaded with negative baggage. (I will unravel this in future “Road less travelled posts”.) We are holistic beings and everything affects everything else – do not subscribe to the philosophy that divides your life into separate and insulated, unrelated boxes – this is simply not true.
Here is an analogy: You would not have your bride arriving on your wedding day in a dirty car. For a perfect day, great memories and beautiful photos attention to detail is the norm and our lives are not different. Every day should be a perfect day for success and negative baggage like un-forgiveness messes everything up.
Everybody is a victim in some way or other. We have all been harmed by negative circumstances and people and this will never change – its just part of life. Walking around blaming the world, God, fate, our parents. our school, our friends and the man next door slows us down, robs us of our joy and affects our gut instinct needed for making great decisions.
Here are some thoughts about forgiveness . . . .
- You don’t have to like the person you forgive.
- They don’t have to become your best friend.
- They don’t have to apologize to you (they probably never will and its ok)
- They don’t have to be alive.
- You don’t have to know their name.
- They don’t have to live in the same state or country.
- You don’t have to convert to their mantra, way of life or religion.
- You don’t have to change the person you are.
- They don’t need to change the person they are.
Forgiveness is a simple and uncomplicated process BUT some sort of action is needed – a line in the sand. It may require a meeting or a letter. It may require an apology from you even if you were the victim and the one wronged. You may have to return or give up something (success and freedom comes at a price.)
Significant change may be needed if the person is a family member but think carefully about this. Don’t be beaten down by guilt and make a decision that will make the situation worse. Whatever the change it must be sustainable and bring positivity for all involved.
If the person is dead or unknown action is still needed but more akin to a ceremony. You can write a letter and then burn it. You can hang a photo as permanent reminder of your decision to forgive. You can make an annual donation to a cause that embodies your spirit of forgiveness.
If you have made a decision to walk with God then this process is easier. The best solution comes with prayer in a small group of like-minded individuals.
Forgiveness brings freedom and harmony and is a step towards peace of mind. Peace of mind gives you the ability to follow your gut instinct and make great decisions for yourself, your family and your business.
Steve Eilertsen is a personal and business coach and can empower you to make the changes you need. Much of his coaching is done online via Skype.